I Shall Not Make These Tears Today
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
I shall not make these tears today
The pain inside, too complete
There is a hollow within
A place of emptiness
And I find myself numb
How I yearn to let this go
To release the wound
But it is not to be
One cannot release the self
Where do I go from here?
There is no running
No hiding
No escaping
This is mine to bear
There will be no bitterness
But I am jaded to the core
A taint of the soul
Lingers on my tongue
In my mind
Under my very skin
I crawl with it
Twitching and screaming
And I huddle inside my body
Wearing it like a shell
The death inside hovers
Nearer to the surface
A shroud of sadness
It permeates my soul
It licks at my heart
My hands shaking
My nerves jumping
I can’t catch my breath
Drowning in my sorrow
I reach for the surface
But I cannot break its hold
This shadow clings to me
But tomorrow I will grieve
For I shall not make these tears today
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The Beast Within
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
Tags: poetry
The sound of those around me cuts like a knife
I feel the surge within and I squirm in my seat
Can’t get comfortable, I’m too unsettled
My soul burns inside me like a flow of lava
I am a volcano waiting to erupt
Too many thoughts of others
They push in on me and fill me with their sickness
Their hate and anger and bitter contempt
My shields wear thin and I am breaking down
Bring me peace and serenity
For there is a world inside of me
Within this darkness, a light that I can’t find
A roar of frustration builds
Swallowed in my throat before it can escape
No one can see me for what I am
This animal yearns to break its cage
Release me from this culture of pain
Fear me, free me, feel me, love me
Hold me close and give me what I need
Let me have your life, I only want a little
Enough to kill this death inside
Green eyes flash with hunger
Fingers itch with the need to feed
And still I must resist
If only they knew what I was thinking now
I close my eyes and breath
Steady, steady, steady
Hold it together girl, you can do this
I leave my desk and walk away
Green death staring at those that I pass
Need to get away from them
I can’t trust myself today
My beast is tearing me from within
Slashing claws and teeth
Punishing me for denying it
I huddle in the bathroom, sweating and shaking
I close my eyes and breath
Steady, steady, steady
Hold it together girl, you can do this
Release me from this culture of pain
Fear me, free me, feel me, love me
Hold me close and give me what I need
Let me have your life, I only want a little
Enough to kill this death inside
Tame my beast, let her purr once more today...
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Surviving The Hunter's Game
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
Tags: poetry
The sun spills it’s warming rays down
Covering my shoulders like a blanket
My bare skin absorbs the light and heat
Turning a tawny golden brown
I walk with purpose, steadily
The footsteps fall one after the other
Over and over, pulling me closer
This is the day that I get my life back
I have made the decision to hate you
I will feel no mercy or compassion
Just as you had none for me
When I had to live beneath your gaze
I'll always carry the memory of your eyes
How they would change at times
To those of a hungry predator
Narrowing on the weak or injured
I saw the next move enter your mind
I watched as you would prepare
For the ecstacy of the hunt
Your muscles twitching in anticipation
Your lips curling back to bare your teeth
Half smiling from savoring the pleasure
Half sneering with unlevened hate
A throaty growl rumbling in your chest
Even when I saw you ducking down
Inching even closer to your target
Stalking with the stealth of a animal
Caught in your gaze I'm trapped
You strike when I least expect
I’m blinded by trust and innocence
My naivity keeps me primed and ready
To fall victim to your attack
It was far too late for me to fight you
When I realized what you were doing
For your eyes had narrowed, focused
And they came to settle on me
You found it easy to make me stumble
Yes, I fell quickly to your predation
But what you were not expecting
Is that I would get back up
I saw your fascination with my Will
I was more challenging than you’d planned
My strength held me up when I felt I’d fall
It steadied my shaking body from within
You never counted on having me stop so soon
Or watching me plant my feet, determined
But most of all I remember your surprise
When you realized, I had turned to fight
You watched my eyes as they filled with rage
I had seen the fear you held inside
My lips pulled back in a most wicked grin
And I saw your foot step back, a first
I knew then, that your suffocation would end
Along with the fear and the threats
I broke from the chains you’d held on my mind
And the coward you are shined through
Just as brightly as the sun beating down on my life
A summer day that will not hold you in it
You have no power over my soul anymore
For I am the one that would never fall prey
I am the one to survive your bloodthirsty hunt
And the reason I came out as the victor
The one thing breaking me free of your chains
You've woken the Beast within me
Today the Hunter becomes the hunted
You will recognize your eyes in my own
For I have been hiding, and I am no prey
And now, I'm coming for you
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Primative Embrace
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
A lesson in vengeance
Burns in my heart
Darkening my countenance
Taking me by storm
Raging within me
Tempest of fate
Building flame
Growing inside
Threats of violence
Primal urges
Thirst and Hunger
A Beast
Howling for release
Control waning
Closing my eyes
To a wash of Red
The only wine
Crimson flowing
A rush of copper
Seeping in
Drawing out
Moments to savor
Only too swiftly
Dies and fades away
Revenge taken
Empty again
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His Dark Gift
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
I look to him with a question in my green eyes
Concern etched on my face, furrowing my brow
Guilt sits within me like a cold fear
Is this what you want? Are you sure?
He looks back with eyes of smoky grey
A calm peaceful ocean of trust
This is what you need love
He wishes to give of himself
To feed my soul once more
I close my eyes and take a breath
Excitement builds within me
A wash of crimson wine flashes across my mind
My mouth waters and my fingers tingle
The beast rears itself, baying long and loud
The cool curved blade of black presses to his flesh
I breathe once more and meet his eyes
Emeralds meet smoke and the meaning is known
He nods and urges me on
Drink of me, be filled once more
My heart rejoices and I press down with intent
The skin is pierced and I pull the blade an inch across his skin
I set it down on a nearby table and look down
The small wound fills with his sweet copper
I lean to it with eyes of awe and wonder
Licking lightly, savoring the moment
The salty taste of life seeping onto my tongue
It pulls to my beast, calling the ravenous thirst forth
My lips cover the wound and I pull him close
Clasping him to me with arms of steely strength
Nails digging in and eyes rolled up
I drink deeply and feel the tight coil loosen
Deep within me a fire burns brightly once more
He cries out in pleasure
He pets my auburn hair, nurturing, giving
A pulsing warmth spreads between us
Bursts after burst of energy soaring
I have forgotten to breathe
My head lifts and I lean back with a roar
Golden mists of light bursting under my skin
He moans and I cry out in joy
A true exchange of all that we are
The wound has since closed
And we hold each other close
For our hearts remain as always, opened
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The World Of Shadows
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
He lifts the lantern high above his head
Lighting the cobbled stone road
His face in shadows
Eyes gleaming with an inner light
Pretty…pretty, he says
I look to him with plain wonder
Confusion painted across my features
Pretty, I ask
Look around you…this world it shines
He spreads his fingers, hand held out
With a wide sweep of his arm he bows
Welcome to the Shadows, M’Lady
Tis the world from which you’re born
But then you’ve always known
Have you not?
Gleaming eyes flick up to me
A smirk playing on his red lips
Yes…always, my voice ethereal
I look to see him at last
Beyond the darkness that hides him
Through those eyes of shining light
And there he stands waiting
Smiling broadly, knowingly
I remember, my mind becomes clear
Whispered words float past my lips
I am home at last
Yes M’Lady…at long last
His hand remains held out to me
A smirk plays across my red lips
I take a single step to close the gap
My fingers meet his
Interlacing and clasping tightly
My eyes had dulled outside the Shadows
Filling with an inner light
Once more they find their gleam
My voice comes strong and confident
Have you kept the Hearth warm, my friend
That I have M’Lady, as requested.
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Dancing In The Sunshine Of The Dark
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
I stand in the shade and I watch the dying sun
As it melts below the horizon
My skin is warmed by the last rays of light
And my throbbing headache begins to fade
My favorite time of day, twilight, dusk
It is the in-between time
A moment of reflection passes
I raise my head and scent the air, cooling and damp
The smell of clay and rich earth thickening
I close my eyes and say a silent prayer
Let there be rain tonight
I walk through the field ahead
Holding my hands out to the side
Brushing the tops of the grassy plants
Caressing a waxy blade hear, a fuzzy one there
The breeze picks up like a whispering voice
I feel a call run through me and I open my eyes
The world has settled into darkness
A fresh new place, comforting and close
A place for my soul to fit in with joy
Off to the west, a bright flash of lighting
Followed by the slow throaty rumble of thunder
A drop of cool wet life falls from the heavens
It lands in my empty footprint
Balling the dust and dirt into a small pearl of mud
A humming pulse beats in my veins
And I must obey the urge
I let my feet and heart carry me
Letting the air cool my face as I run
Feeling the earth below
The night sky above
The stiff jagged stalks of green as they brush my legs
Still, I run nowhere and everywhere
A joyous cry echoes through the field
Small rivulets of water trailing down my body
Purifying me, washing my soul clean
The world around me disappears
And I dance in the sunshine of the dark
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Passing of an Era
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
Tags: poetry
In what world would love not be hell to those that make it their own.
It is the pleasurable torment of the mind heart and soul.
One would think that it should not hurt.
That one would be wrong.
But when does hurt take over.
When does the pain no longer become pleasure.
When does enough become enough.
It is when…
Each tear becomes a badge of courage.
Along with each wounded cry.
A bouquet of roses becomes melancholy.
A kiss becomes a chore.
A minute becomes a year.
A year becomes eternity.
A field of sunflowers makes you sad, because it reminds you of that one time…when you were happy.
A favorite meal tastes of ash.
And wine becomes flavorless.
And the ache within seems to grow.
While the love does fade.
When is love not enough?
Never.
But sometimes…
Just sometimes…
Love cannot remain when
It no longer gives you wings.
You no longer feel yourself soar.
When what was once freedom, becomes a cage.
You will be bruised, beaten and ripped to shreds.
But more then anything else, you become tired.
Tired of hurt
Tired of pain
Tired of guilt
Tired of sadness
Tired of the exhaustion
Tired of stress
Tired
Tired
And there are no more recharges
For your heart is dry
And can no longer be filled
By the one that dried it
That persons love
Has been taken by they themselves
And there is no more.
Love it seems, is not always so eternal.
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Beside The Lake Of Fire
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
Tags: poetry
Into the abyss of love we fall
Smiling the whole way down
For we see our home below in hell
Know its heated embrace like no other
A gentle kiss with a lick of flames
A sigh of smoke and ash
Breath like flying embers
Passions fire engulfs us both
We find heaven within hell
So who's to say which place we suffer
For heaven without you
Would be the cold eternal winter
Which I will not idly suffer in such sorrow
Please, take my hand
Lead me to the lake of fire
By which light we may resume
The love of ages
While slowly burning up
The stars above
For the twin flames we hold inside
Grow to lick the sky
Mingled
Weaving in and out of rapturous passion
With one furious wish
To remain
Forever
Bound to this place
Inferno of delight
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The Dream From Which We Never Wake
Posted on 5/8/2009 by
Crystalis
Tags: poetry
Take this strain from my eyes
Fill it with the devil's guise
Into this darker light
I follow you down
The jaws of death are but the beginning
You feed my flame
Into this void we stride
Laughing the whole way down
Honeyed lips stilled by baited breath
Two pulled, tugged, gripped as one
Passions furious embrace takes hold
Into this new dimension we pass
Warm breeze across soft pale skin
Moonlight glows from within
Taken in
So much more then ever thought true or real
Hearts ablaze as we entwine
We revel in the taste of it all
Giggles of delight
Gently sighing moans fill the air
This magick life
Golden mists swirl, ethereal
Across our bodies
Can this all be real
Or is it a dream
From which we never wake
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